I'm Afraid to Call it Insomnia

I couldn't sleep last night. I blamed it on the very strong iced tea I drank right before bed. Surely, that was what did it.

But here I am again, not sleeping. WTF?

A couple things going on...

Finn has been sleeping through the night for real for about two weeks now, until the last couple nights. I wonder if I'm subconsciously fretting about him getting up to feed.

I go back to work in 2.5 weeks. Part of me is excited. Part of me is expecting all hell to break loose. I'm finding that my head is going around and around with nursing interventions and things about patients and what I talk to docs about... Then I think about being away from Finn for a 12 hour shift. And worrying about M. and Finn and how they're doing. And then I think about what it will be like to come home and finally see him.

Racing thoughts. All of them going round and round and round in my head.

Ugh.

As always, my mind goes straight to meds. Do I need meds? I don't want insomnia. I've always been good about going to sleep, although staying asleep has been an issue at times.

I need to enjoy the last tiny sliver of mat leave I have and stop doing this. Argh.