Unstoppable Force Meet Immovable Object

M. and I spent 15 years perfecting our relationship before Finn came along. We were happily ensconced in our cocoon of relational bliss. Somehow I thought all of that work would transfer over to parenting together. We had it all down pat so surely parenting would be a snap. No problem.

Uh, yeah.

I feel like we're starting all over again. Year sixteen is really year one in our parenting relationship. The bumps and bruises from those early years when we were ironing things out are back and looming. It's hard.

I have to be honest that our disagreements were there before, but we'd found a way to live with them. We had our dysfunctions but we'd worked through them and they didn't impact the bigger picture. Never let anyone lie to you, living with another human being is hard, hard work. I'm starting to think that parenting with another human being is even harder.

Sometimes I feel like things would be better if we could be in our own little worlds. M. could do things her way in her world and I could do things my way and everything would be okay. Except that is so, so, SO wrong because I'm not including a very important part of the equation. Finn. He would be the one who would have to negotiate between the worlds.

This post is not the beginning of the end. It's just that we're struggling and I think struggling is normal. M. would laugh at me and ask if I had really expected to get through this parenting thing without having to actually work. I might answer "yes" because in a way I felt like we are so good together it's inevitable that we'd be the best, most kick-ass-on-the-same-page-always-agreeing parents on the face of this earth.

But we're not. What we are is stubborn, rock solid and loving, and that will get us through even the worst days. And like our relationship, our parenting together will be hard and challenging, but we will only get better and better at it.