Sleep. Sweet, sweet sleep.
Sleep and Finn has been difficult, to say the least.
At times it has seemed like everyone else in the world was blessed with the perfectly sleeping child while we have the nightmare. For YEARS now the parenting never stopped because he would only sleep a maximum of two hours, sometimes as little as twenty minutes. There was a time when I'd get home from work and have to go to bed immediately because Finn wouldn't sleep without me. Nighttime was tinged with the anticipation of cries of "mommy, mama" from the bedroom.
We've gone down the road of self-blame. We didn't cry it out. We have a family bed. Our kid is too attached. It's OUR fault. WE have not allowed him to learn self-soothing because of our suffocating parenting style. If you'd told me when Finn was little it would be two and a half years of this hell, I might have made some different decisions. At times I've wanted to make different decisions. Anything for a little sanity.
Then it happened. A switch. Our boy is not only sleeping the entire night, he's PUTTING HIMSELF TO SLEEP.
As Finn's gotten older he's stopped nursing to sleep, and at some point M. and I realized that us staying with him until he fell asleep was actually not working. So we did something crazy. We started leaving. And Finn did something crazy. He started putting himself to sleep. It's been six weeks now and basically we lie down with him for about twenty minutes, then kiss him, hug him and tuck his covers around him. Then we leave and he goes to sleep. Just like that. Sometimes he gets up so we retuck him again, and that's usually only once or twice.
There is hope.
I've come to see sleep as a process, not an event. People love to ask if you're baby is sleeping through the night, as if it's something that is supposed to just happen in the first year, and for some it does. But there is no "supposed to" about sleep, and it can take time...a lot of time. Forcing it has consequences, and while many are okay with those tough decisions, forcing Finn to sleep is something that neither M. or I have ever been comfortable with.
So we have sleep. For now. And I'm going to enjoy it. For now.
posted by Sacha @ 8:49 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Aah, the process. We are mostly on the nice side of the process, but there are still moments. The "where is my pacifier?" cry at 3am being one of them. :) But still, it IS nice when the kids finally just kind of "get it," (ours waited until she was verbal enough and we could chat about falling to sleep by herself), and I'm psyched you guys are getting some time and sleep.
Hooray! xo
I hear you. Riley still wakes in the night every single night. Sometimes she has night terrors. Jackson seems to be a better sleeper for the most part but he doesn't self soothe yet--he nurses.
See, this is why I laugh at first time parents that think they have it all figured out. Don't you learn throughout the parenting process that the one thing you cannot do is JUDGE other parents. We all do what we do because we think it is best for our kids. Sleep is so sweet, sweeter still for those that have to wait for it! Enjoy!
THANK YOU for posting this!!!
We are at 2 1/2 years now, and we still haven't slept through the night once. To Bub's chagrin, we have a family bed. We are hoping that the new "big boy beds" will be so darn cool that both boys will want to sleep in them all of the time. Wish us luck!
aweseome!! this is wonderful. we are just getting here as well. after a little over a year and half of co-sleeping this summer we were surprised to see that g could sleep in his own bed and pretty much do it all all night. our family/friends were likely saying "i told you so" but oh well, we did it our way. and in a few short weeks we'll have an infant in the bed again!
sarah and cindy (from rc)
MISS YOUR UPDATES!!! Hope all is well!
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