Creating Spaces
M. and I went to a lesbian family holiday party this last weekend. It's strange because we live in a city that has the largest per capita queer population, yet there is NOTHING for kids with queer parents. I realized as I was sitting watching all these kids of different ages playing happily that it is so very important for us as parents to be creating safe spaces for our families. Not only for ourselves to connect with others having similar experiences, but for our kids.
No matter how many times I tell myself that it won't matter to Finn that he has two moms, that it's actually to his advantage, the reality is that he will face challenges because of his parents. This makes me kind of sad. Not totally because kids have their challenges, whether it's race or socioeconomic, or their body size, or their physical skill. We will be one of Finn's challenges, and knowing this will allow us help him navigate through his world.
But it's still important for Finn, and our future second child, to have places where they can 100% be themselves and be around other kids like them. This is why even though we live in a community that is integrated, where being gay or lesbian has become as meaningless as being blonde or brunette, where we barely nod at each other as we go about our daily business, we need to make spaces that are ony for us and our families. Because every child deserves safety in their lives and as their parents, it's our job to provide that to the best of our ability.
posted by Sacha @ 10:58 PM
4 comments
4 Comments:
This is a great post, and what you're saying makes so much sense to me. We as a community can easily become complacent and forget that we need events like these, but ultimately, we need the support. We need to know that others are walking through the world experiencing the same kinds of joys and hardships that we are.
My partner and I live in a fairly progressive small town now with absolutely no queer community, so we're moving to a larger progressive city in hopes of finding something not unlike what you found in that holiday gathering.
Well said! I completely agree with you.
Not that I want to further isolate my family by surrounding them with only LGBTs, but having a support system in the area is going to become imperative once we have children. Not only should we give our kids a chance to see other families like ours, but it will be great for us to swap stories and network with other parents like us as well.
Our city is nearby one of the largest LGBT-friendly zones in the state, so I am hopeful we will find a network of parents in our area relatively quickly.
I surfed over here from "a little pregnant" a while back and have been reading your blog ever since. Delurking now to say that I am a lesbian mom of an almost five year old and an 8 month old (both girls) and I love reading your blog (where do you find the time...!) Anyway we live in Seattle and have really enjoyed going to some events with Rainbow families of Puget Sound (http://www.rainbowfamiliesps.org/)Also, when our daughter started pre-school it turned out that 3 (!) of the 12 kids in her class had lesbian parents. When the kids play "house" there are sometimes mommies and daddies, sometimes 2 mommies, sometimes 2 daddies. It's really great.
M&S,
In our area, we have a G&L parents group that officially meets 1x/month for a potluck and activities. It's always the 2nd Sunday of the month but the location changes. Then, during the summer months, there are unofficial activities almost every Friday at a park or the drive in or whatever. There is also a weekend camping trip every year.
We've only attended one function about a week before the boys were even born. We haven't attended any since then because the boys were in the hospital, too small, or it's RSV season. We are, however, looking forward to lots of fun in 2008.
It's so easy to get a potluck group going. Maybe you would have luck in your area? For ideas, search GLPU in Yahoo groups and check us out! Or, contact Trista (Accident of Hope) for ideas. She's our fearless leader.
Goober (& Bubba & Meatball & Peanut)
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