Thursday, September 10, 2009

So...

I'm still here.

When did my child become Two and a Half????

A few months ago Finn got really really sick. Six days straight of fever, vomiting and diarrhea. Our sweet kiddo was lethargic, his eyes rimmed in red, lying in bed and begging for...coffee. Yeah, coffee. Then he got better and when he emerged, he was Two and a Half. I don't mean he was really two and a half (that happens October 2nd), I mean he suddenly was super-oppositional, crazy emotional, raging against The Man, the machine and mama and mommy all at once, inconsolable when he didn't get his way and volatile.

I guess two isn't going to be entirely a piece of cake.

Like any singular moment in parenting, we stopped, took stock then readjusted our course. Okay, he's Two and a Half, and that's okay. It's more than okay, it's expected, it's developmental. But, still...where is my baby???

It's hard, this parenting thing. This letting go thing. And I tell you, he's still the most fabulous kiddo in the entire world, even when he's not.

DtD

Well, he's back. It's strange picking up after two years of not having him in our lives. Strange but still kind of okay. He and BF are not doing well. I don't know where that's going, but I think it's going the wrong direction. Long term relationships are hard, and they're especially hard when you spend two years apart.

Anyhoo, the BIG QUESTION remains. We need his sperm. Again.

Did I hem and haw, did I talk about dry wall, did I avoid and avoid and avoid? Nope. I've grown up. I put it out there - we want a sibling for Finn. And you know what: game on. Soon, maybe too soon, we're back on the TTC rollercoaster that I HATE so much.

AHHHHHH!!!

It'll be worth it. It was the first time. I don't care if it took a million tries (okay, maybe I do,) our kiddo was so worth it.