Lies, and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

The lying liars are us....yep.

More on that in a minute. First some updates. As you may have noticed, we had some technical difficulties over the past two days. We've resolved the problem for now and will work on structural changes to ensure it doesn't happen again.

While we were away we POAS at 10dpo and got a BFN, followed immediately by spotting. Now, AF is here in full force and we're into a new cycle. We were feeling very sure about this last one but alas, Gert was not to be. We also got back the results of the progesterone test from this cycle, which came back at the low end of the normal range.

Ok, onto today's story. Since we've had two unsuccessful cycles with great timing and since we really wanted to do this before we started so as not to waste time, we're sending DtD off for a semen analysis to make sure everything is ok in that dept. I actually think he wants to go since I believe he secretly hoped his swimmers would do the job the first time and now he wants to make sure he's ok.

So, I found an andrology lab which will do the analysis and I called to get all the info for DtD to make it easy for him. All he needs to do is call and schedule the appointment. The woman on the phone was oh so helpful and even said they could just bill us directly and that the Dr.'s order he would need could come from his Dr. or ours. It was all very open and positive.

Then, she muttered something......blah, blah, blah..PARTNER, blah..... I couldn't figure out what she was alluding to and when I questioned her she asked if she could call me back in 5 minutes. Aparently there were people there who she didn't want to talk in front of.

So, she called back and told me that if he were to come in and announce he's a known donor or if I were to schedule the appointment for my known donor, they wouldn't work with us AT ALL until they drew DtD's blood, did STD testing, froze his semen for a 6 month quarantine and tested it again. Now, I think it was clear that at this time we're looking just for a semen analysis, not any inseminations at their office. So, I was a little taken aback. She said then when we or he referred to his position, we should use the key word "partner" because that's the language that would get him full access without further testing (that by the way, we've already done ourselves!). She informed me that we should say "partner" and they would slyly smile and wink while opening the door. I was informed that they didn't care if he was a boyfriend, or husband, etc, as long as he wasn't a "known donor" and that as long as we didn't say that, they wouldn't pry. Yet another example of Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

Now, I know that this is a clinic policy and I know that they are trying to protect themselves from lawsuits by women who contract something terrible like hepetitis or HIV in their presence. But, for the life of me, I can't figure out their rationale. Wouldn't this be just as likely (or more so since we've DONE testing) with a woman's "boyfriend"....maybe someone she hasn't known long at all?

The bottom line is that I had to swallow what she was saying and just be happy that she was nice enough to share the secret password with me, so that we could then take on the lie and ask DtD and his Dr. to do the same. Let me just say that it's not a good feeling being told that you must lie to be treated equally.