Day 13: Zoe is Still the Baby
Well, I'm spotting. Bambi is over. Zoe says she's still NUMBER ONE! Actually, she said "Mommy, this blanket is really nice to nap under."
Onto round five. I'm feeling frustrated. There is nothing obviously wrong with me. I ovulate regularly. Our timing is great. We have the advantage of fresh sperm. My progesterone is normal. I took the @#!! progesterone suppositories and it barely pushed out my luteal phase. Why the HELL aren't I getting pregnant???
WHY????
Sometimes it feels like it works for everyone else.
I can't stand to see another pregnant woman. I can't bear to hear about another birth and another happy new family. And I feel like the biggest BITCH in the world for feeling this way.
I need to re-find my inner Miss Merry Sunshine.
posted by Sacha @ 2:54 PM
14 comments
14 Comments:
You have every right to feel frustrated and to loathe seeing pregnant women and to hate hearing others announce their pregnancies (I've been there). I really hope it happens soon for you two. I'll send positive thoughts your way until you can find your inner sunshine. :) Hang in there. In the meantime, relish in all the things you wouldn't do if you were pg (drink great wine, soak in a hot tub, eat sushi...). Doesn't completely mend your heart, but it helps to indulge a little.
Well, you may hate me for saying this, but I'm typing it anyway! I spotted on 13 DPO (as I normally do when AF is coming), which was the same day I got the faintest +. So you're still in the game, sweetie.
::hug:: for Steph. I couldn't hate anyone for being hopeful. It's sweet of you to be so supportive. I don't feel like I'm in the game. I feel like the game is kicking the shit out of me.
I'll find my bearings again but right now I feel like I'm drifting.
I am a lurker from FF and wanted to send you a cyber ((())) WHY CAN'T IT JUST BE EASY!!?? I have my very own sperm machine (well, he prefers that I call him my husband) and I'm still not knocked up either. No advice -- I am totally nuts about the whole thing and often pray before I wipe with my eyes closed... it doesn't change the pink on the TP though. Cuddle with the kitty and your wife and eat lots of Easter Candy.
Lucy - I try to think really warm thoughts before I temp, that's how crazy I am.
Thanks for the encouraging words. I'm feeling a bit better.
it will never ever ever ever make sense.
ever.
(((hugs)))
well that's just @#$@$# great.
:-(
Have you looked for your inner sunshine in the freezer? You know, in a nice cylindrical container of Ben and Jerry's? New YorkSUper Fudge Chunk is just bursting with solar goodness.
Seriously, I'm so sorry, it's very disappointing to get on the roller coaster every month. You'll make it, and it'll make the whole wait worthwhile, I promise.
Aw Sacha and M, I'm so sorry. Sometimes it just sucks ass and doesn't make any sense at all.
I wish there were a better way to get babies. Like maybe grow them like sea monkeys? That way you can see them start and grow? Alas.
If you want to try the sea monkey thing, I'm in. I'll talk to a scientist friend...
all i have to say is "ditto" - i could've written that exact post in my blog a few days ago.
don't feel like a bitch. you are more than justified for your feelings.
it will happen for all of us...someday.
THis may be VERY unwanted advise, but have you considered taking a month off? Or one more try then a month off? Or taking a month to insem (becuase you know when to do it) but take a month off temps, charting, symptoms, etc. ?
I ask because a break, or any delay for us, sounded like the worst idea ever, in fact I would have rather stuck pins in my eyes, but now that I am here. IT IS SO FUCKING GREAT.
No baby obsessing. No charting. No expectations. I am more relaxed than I have been in 6 months. S. and I are connecting and...well I'll stop.
I just highly recommend it even though it goes agains everything in my TTC obssessed person, and we wouldn't be on one ourselves unless it was forced.
I am feeling for you! All I can say is that I will send you something yummy.
And lets totally do a lesbo food blog!
It took me seven cycles the first time, and I had my sperm on the hoof.
Not that I was any less wracked with bitterness and jealousy than you are :-) I just had less reason to be, what with not charting and all...
If it makes you feel any better, the baby is squashing my bladder and I have a nagging, chronic UTI...
I've been out of commision with a torn ligament in my knee. Sorry I'm just checking in now :( It's so frustrating. Don't lose sight of yourself during all this. I know that's easy to say though, because I deal with things that are out of my control the same way. I get so involved in whatever it is that sometimes it takes a whole new "crisis" to divert my attention. So yeah.. no advice from me. Just understanding.
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