Last Day
Well, I think today is my last day of work. Not by choice. I really wanted to work up until 38 weeks. I was considering maybe stopping at 37.
I've had enough.
I am in so much pain that I can barely walk. The weight I've gained combined with the swelling that I get when I work are making my bad ankle unbearable. I used to have bad days here and there. Now I'm pretty much incapacitated.
I can't do my job like this. In the least I have to be able to move, to see my patients, and I just can't with this much pain. I'm not a bad nurse but I can't be a good one if I'm this disabled. It's a disservice to my coworkers and to my patients to try to keep going. It's very VERY important to me to work hard and do a good job, which makes this an extremely difficult decision.
I called my parents in tears and asked for financial help. It's the only way we can do it. And I really hate it because I wanted to do this without help, but to do that I NEED to work up until 38 weeks and I can't. They said not to worry about it and they'll help.
I'm calling in sick tomorrow and when we see Dr. G. on Friday I'm going to get her to write me a note stating I can't work. I talked to my manager and told them I need to leave earlier than expected. I can probably get some light duty but I think today is my last day as a floor nurse for a while.
posted by Sacha @ 5:17 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
oh sweetie, i don't even know what to say. only that, as a parent, i would do anything for my daughter. i know that your parents will be happy to help you where they can just like you and m. will be there to help LB when he needs it. i am so sorry you are in pain, both physically and emotionally. just know that you need to do what is best for YOU and for LB right now, and it sounds like you are already doing it. you know that saying about the 'best laid plans'.
i pray your parents will be supportive.
thinking of you and sending you great big ((((((hugs)))))).
I swear that the last few months of pregnancy are miserable just so we won't want to be pregnant forever. You have to do what is best for you right now. It sucks when we realize that we cannot live up to our own expectations, but I think it makes sense to revise those expectations as we go along.
Good Luck
Oh Sacha, I'm so sorry that you're in so much pain. That's awful in itself, let alone the implications for working/finance.
Putting the work issue aside for a moment, you really need to do something to try and get yourself more comfortable in order to bear the last weeks of pregnancy, which are awkward enough as it is. You may already have tried some form of physical therapy, but if not, get it organised NOW!
A few weeks back, I was in so much discomfort that I honestly didn't know how I was going to carry on until the baby came; I was utterly miserable with it all, and was in pain whatever position I was in, night or day. I went to see my McTimoney chiropractor initially, and although the treatment itself wasn't wonderful, I truly couldn't believe the effects. I didn't realise quite how bad a position my spine had got in - I just took all the backache and immobility for granted as a pregnancy side effect. I walked out of there without my pregnancy waddle, and was just generally much less stiff and awkward, having had everything re-aligned. Since then, I've been going to one of my chiropractor's colleagues for regular intensive massage to keep my body more on track. It's made all the difference in the world to being able to cope.
Big hugs to you (((((((Sacha))))))))
Do not beat yourself up about this. You are listening to your body and you are also thinking about best care for your patients, and that makes you a great person, a great mom, and a great nurse.
I left a note on the board, but I just wanted to add my support here. HUGE hugs and please know no matter how hard this is to do, it's the BEST thing you can do as LB's mama! And I totally agree with Tasmin - regular chiropractic and/or massage has saved me the past two weeks especially. I know it just means more money but I hope you can find a way to do some good bodywork.
Oh I'm so sorry. I remember when Kristin was pregnant and I was unemployed and it was getting harder and harder for her to work, and all the stress knowing that financially she had to keep working so she could spend more time at home after the birth. It all just sucks. You're making the right decision. I'm just sorry that you had to make it.
Sorry Sacha that you are not able to work as long as you wanted and that that means financial problems. I hope your parents are supportive and that you are able to do some light duty to help out as well. It will all be worth it when little boy is here safe and sound.
so sorry you are in so much pain and struggling with the financial implications of what it means to have to leave work now. in your state, are you able to collect any sort of short-term disability pay related to pregnancy? if you are physically unable to work, and this is a temporary condition (pregnancy usually is!), you would qualify for short-term disability pay in the state of california (where i am). just thought i would throw that out there as something that you can talk to your doctor about. it will not match your salary, but it could help out a bit. hang in there. when LB arrives, it will all have been worth it! -chris-
I'm relieved for you in a way - I hated reading about you struggling on when I know how crappy you must be feeling! How any employer expects you to provide care for other people when you're utterly fucked yourself is beyond me.You will feel so much better now that you can spend time looking after yourself and not use up all that caring energy on others. We'll be maternity leave buddies soon! I'm so glad you have supportive parents to help you out at this time - it shows their love for their daughter and for their grandchild.
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