Danger! Unmedicated Birth Ahead!
I want to add a disclaimer that I support people making medical decisions that work for them. This is why I chose to use the term unmedicated birth versus natural birth. I feel it removes some of the judgement around the terminology. M. and I are chosing to work toward an umedicated birth because it is what we believe will be best for our baby but this doesn't mean it's an approach that will work for all birthing mothers.
For some time I've been noticing a certain response from people when M. and I emphasize how important having an unmedicated birth is for us. I find that we are treated like our desire to reduce interventions and not use medications means we will also make irresponsible decisions when it comes to the health and safety of our son. Then people feel the need to educate us about the consequences of our decisions, assuming that we simply don't know.
Okay.
First, working toward an unmedicated birth CAN be done alongside interventions. They might make it more challenging but it is not an either/or choice. One can have ultrasounds and an induction and still do all things in her power to have a unmedicated vaginal birth. These are not mutually exclusive things and no one has to make a choice of one or another.
I am tired of the assumption that our decision to work toward an unmedicated birth will cloud our judgement when it comes to the health and well-being of our son. I'm tired of being treated like I'm both stupid and unrealistic about what we want for the birth. While there are certainly people who would put their baby in danger because of their ideology, those people primarily exist on television and occasionally are found in real life. If there is a moment where he is in danger, I will be the first person to say get him out. I'm a nurse, after all, and that makes me acutely aware of the safety of my family.
Let's talk about the interventions themselves. We have amazing medical advances that make it possible to see inside the womb. These interventions save lives, both of the mother and the baby. And that's really great. I mean awesome. But there is a downside to all these amazing medical advances, which is that they are not always 100% accurate and they may cause a doc to respond to a perceived danger sooner than needed. This leads to an increase in interventions that may have not been necessary. There is so much more of a chance of being subjected to unnecessary interventions than our boy's life being threatened.
If a situation arises where he is no longer safe inside my uterus, I know that M. and I will make the right decision. After all, we love him and we want him to be with us forever. And just because we want to minimize interventions and work toward an empowering, unmedicated birth doesn't mean we've lost sight of all that.
posted by Sacha @ 10:36 PM
12 comments
12 Comments:
I think this is such a huge part of a larger problem - the beginning of a long, ugly road of maternal judgment. Every woman I know goes through a period of feeling bad about her birth choices and then her parenting choices. It is absolutely ridiculous and horrible. I feel precisely as frustrated and annoyed as you do because there are people who let me know that they think I am 'endangering' myself and my baby by choosing to have an epidural. They then assume I am the sort of person who would not even attempt to breastfeed (wrong). It's the other side of the same, yucky coin. I hear you.
Hi I've been reading your Blog for a while now but just recently started my own. (I'm Melissa's "Rant's of a Married Lesbian Mom" wife) I hear ya on the people being stupid about wanting to have an unmedicated birth. We are going to go the Hypnobirthing route and people are kinda crazy when I mention it. They feel the need to go on rants about how painful birth is and how dangerous their birth was... I don't care! Mine will be different. So good luck and I'm sure you will make the best choice for you and your family!!
People have far too many opinions about matters that are none of their business.
I too am considering a natural birth. I too have some minor complications and I too love my son unconditionally already. I would never do anything to put him in harms way. If the doctor tells me at any point that this choice is no longer ideal for him, we will switch courses. Until I will do what I think is best for both of us, and my doctor supports that.
hey sacha, it is awful that you are not feeling supported in your birthing decision.
i totally respect your and M.'s decision to limit interventions. as a matter of fact, i wish i would have taken a stronger stance during mikaela's birth.
i, too, was high risk and ended up having to take the route of induction, etc. I naively assumed it was a “package deal”. You know, get the induction meds (i.e. pitocin), plus all the antibiotics, and of course the epidural. I “let them do” and didn’t ask questions. Had I known there was an a la carte option, I may have had a stronger voice during the process and may have ended up with a result much closer to my original birthing plan.
As I have stated in previous comments, my end result was soooooo far from what I had originally envisioned. Of course, the end product was just as miraculous, but not the process, per se.
You are so fortunate to have the experience of the medical world to further substantiate your decision. You are informed, and doctors can sometimes get all ‘weird’ when dealing with someone knowledgeable. It is like they believe their suggestions should be taken as gospel and not for what they really are: medical opinions - period.
remain strong; stick to what you feel is right for your little one and know you have the support from the MAJORITY of your friends out here in the blogosphere.
I am a long time lurker and just want to show my support....i have had 2 unmedicated births that went super smooth....my 3rd ended with an induction that ended with a c-section. Looking back i wish i would have gone unmedicated again, then maybe, just maybe i would not have had to have had the surgery.
well, you know it comes from the fact that "I" did everything that "I" thought was safe and right for the health of my baby, and thus if "you" do something differently than what "I" did then you're obviously not thoughtful and wise and selfless as "I" am. And if everything turns out ok the way "you" did it? Well, then that means that maybe "I" was not as thoughtful and wise and selfless as "I" thought I was. And heaven forbid that!
I don't hold to this line of reasoning, you know, but this is where I think a lot of those people come from. Insecurity and fear. Sad.
You guys are making great decisions!
Oh my gosh I think the exact opposite! I think by wanting an unmedicated, no intervention birth you are making some of the BEST healthcare decisions for your baby.
I'm not saying women who choose to or have to go down that road wont have happy, healthy babies, but I believe that natural is a great scenareo.
Don't focus on the negativity. Women had babies more times over before the advent of medical interventions. With my first, they did an ultrasound a few days before my due date and based on that, the OB that read the measurements started talking c-section! I hadn't even reached my due date! I was pissed off. Ultimately, that birth did end in a c-section. My water broke before I had any real contractions and they had to use pitocin to get me started. I was not allowed to get off the bed. It was medically induced hell. My 2nd and 3rd were born via scheduled c-sections and I was fine with that.
Stick to your guns and spend your time focusing on how you're going to make it work and not thinking about the obstacles. Labor is hard. Be prepared but not scared.
...which is exactly why it is SO important to trust your care provider! I'm with you - if something were truly wrong I would be willing to do anything. I trust our midwife 100% and if she says "we need to go to the hospital" then to the hospital we will go. What pisses me off is women in labor being pressured and *bullied* into unnecessary interventions. I've seen it as a doula - nurses and docs using some variation of the whole "well if we don't do ___ your baby could die." I get that there are life-and-death situation but you and I both know how infrequent those are in labor and birth.
I'm sorry you get that attitude from people. I have also experienced it, or people assuming that I judge them because they didn't have an unmedicated birth, or don't want one. Which is not the case, because frankly I don't care if someone wants drugs. As long as they are making an informed decision, I could care less. Sometimes things change during labor and plans have to change too - that's fine. I respect that it happens and people need to vent/talk about it. But don't rain on my parade (i.e. goals of having a homebirth and obviously then unmedicated) just because it didn't work out for you, KWIM?
It is funny how many people can't fathom an unmedicated birth. We're really striving for that too but obviously have an open mind to intervention/meds if necessary. If anything, I think you're doing the best for your baby if you can avoid meds as they do affect the baby. Meds are not always the answer to everything. That being said, I don't think anyone should judge others for needing meds. Every birth is so different and there really is no way to compare them.
As a family doc i totally support your decisions and goals about your birth.
That said, I know you didn't ask but what i would do if i found too many people were sticking their noses into my business with unwanted opinions? Stop talking about my plans with them. If they can't be supportive they've lost the right to know (IMHO...but that's also your choice...maybe it's a good opportunity to educate)
You are going to be great moms and i hope your birth goes the way you hope it does but more importantly that you two and your son are all well and healthy at the end!
"One can have ultrasounds and an induction and still do all things in her power to have a unmedicated vaginal birth."
One can. This one did (amniotomy and homebirth). This one LOVED that combination. It hurt, I won't lie, but once Sarah was born and I wasn't all zonked on drugs I felt very lucky have ended a pregnancy that my body could no longer tolerate, and to have had the nonmedicated vaginal birth I'd planned on.
Oh, and I really, REALLY think it helps to take the quasi-hysterical He's Not Growing chorus with a grain of salt. He's growing. You can tell.
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