Pregnancy Fears
The painter is starting on the kitchen today and that means we'll have to unplug our computer, and since I'm heading back to work, babycakes probably won't be updated for a few days.
Pregnancy Fears
I think pregnancy can be one of the most nerve-wracking experiences ever. It's also wonderful and amazing, but when you're housing this little life who is so dependent on you, the sense of responsibility can be overwhelming.
Little boy isn't kicking as strongly.
Last week he was crazy kicking boy, bumping all around my belly. Then Friday rolled around and he had a quiet day. Then another quiet day. And another.
I freaked out.
It wasn't like he wasn't moving. He moves all the time. He meets his kick counts every night, usually in about twenty minutes. He kicks me when I lay on my left side. I can wake him up with juice pretty much any time. His movements were just not nearly as strong.
I hate being scared. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Especially being scared about our boy.
I called the on-call MD at our doctor's office, and it turned out Dr. G. was on call that night. She said the ultrasound was good, the cord pressure is good, there are no placenta issues and he's still moving. Bottom line, LB has probably run out of room and it's changed the way I feel his movements. But we go in for a NST today as part of my blood pressure check and I'll be happy to get some feedback on how he's doing.
When I get scared I want to run away from all of this. I wish it wasn't my body that little boy is depending on, that it wasn't mine that might fail. Sometimes I really hate being pregnant just because I want someone else to be responsible for him being okay. Sometimes I feel really, really alone, which is when I have to stop, analyze, and tell myself that there are more chances of things being okay than not.
I'm excited to meet him. I'll also be glad when this is all over.
posted by Sacha @ 9:20 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
hey sacha i completely understand your fears. i think i was 34 weeks when mikaela, appropriately dubbed "squirm worm" at that time, completely stopped moving around. i totally freaked out. my doc hooked me up to the non-stress test monitors and of course, all was well.
the nurse told me that this is actually common in the the final weeks of pregnancy. i know that LB is just fine and i know that you know that too. but this does not make the responsibility of it all any less scary. just wait til he's born. it gets even scarier. ;)
oh and p.s. (in case you didn't know) stacey from 2 Girls in Love blog is being induced today. Her water broke earlier this morning and they made the decision to induce. Little Riley is going to be here soon!!!!! :)))
It is so scary when the baby goes quiet/changes its movement patterns significantly. Although Pip's patterns have had several different shifts in the last few months as the amount of womb room has reduced, on the whole there has always been enough movement to reassure me thatn everything is still OK in there, even if it is feeling very different.
The other morning though, I woke up in a complete panic, as normally I feel some kind of minor movement as soon as I awake, and there was nothing. I was prodding my belly really hard, for what felt like several minutes, in an increasing state of panic, before Pip finally responded. Poor baby was just asleep. I was so relieved though. My biggest fear throughout (and prior to) pregnancy has been of the baby dying in utero close to term, and having to give birth to a stillborn child. I know that it's pretty darned unlikely, but I also know of 2 women who have had to go through this, at around 38 weeks, and I really can't imagine anything more horrendous.
Hope that LB is giving you lots of reassuring kicks again. Carrying a baby is a huge responsibility.
Damnit. I just lost my comment. I hate the word verification... *sigh*
Anyway, just wanted to say that you should try not to worry (impossible) but I had the same experience. Riley had days where she barely moved. Even if I felt 1 kick, I would doubt myself. Did I really feel her?
I noticed that Riley has quiet moments just like she did in the womb. She has really active times and then times where she sleeps most of the time. I also heard that they are quieter when they run out of room, are exhausted (maybe from *really* active days) or are going through a growth spurt.
I'm sure your little guy is just fine.
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