Dear Anonymous...
Oh, how I love anonymous slams.
It was funny because M. protested that how would Anonymous know we are BOTH whiny. After all, I write the blog so how would someone know if SHE is whiny? Then she whined that Finn spit up all over her.
Anyway, let me restate my goal with this blog. It's to tell it like it is. That means if things are rough, I talk about it. If things are good, I talk about it. If things are boring...well, I talk about it. TTC was rough. Pregnancy was rough. Having a new baby is rough. It's good to talk about the good and the bad. So if that makes me whiny, I guess I'll whine away.
No matter how much one wants a baby, there's no way to prepare for the shock of adjusting to life with an infant. Top that off with a huge hormonal crash. And major abdominal surgery. And being hopped up on pain meds. And serious sleep deprivation.
If you expect me to present all that like it's some kind of rosy, bliss-filled existance, get off your high horse and read a different blog.
Treating new moms like they are simply whining when they are facing significant challenges furthers the isolation that leads to post partum depression and psychosis. It's a dangerous, judgemental and hurtful attitude. It prevents people from getting help when they truly need it.
I hope anyone having a hard time who is reading this knows that they aren't alone.
And the wonderful thing about existing in this world without a diagnosed mental illness is that things DO get better. They are already better around here.
posted by Sacha @ 12:29 PM
17 comments
17 Comments:
ROCK ON!!!! To hell with everyone and their asshole opinions. I think that you're doing a great job...and what the hell does my opinion matter anyway??? As long as the three of you are finding your way together as a family, you are doing well.
Thank you for speaking out...it's so important that people stop judging women and mothers.
You've got my support!
You are so right Sacha. I was so happy I had Sofia but it was a shocker and especially when I was breastfeeding. You don't realize what a toll that can take on your body. I felt so resentful that here I had gone through 9 months of pain and absolute discomfort while pregnant and then having to go through the torture of breastfeeding. I am sorry I didn't feel excited or bonded to my little one I was angry and resentful that everything fell on me and no one could help me. Also it didn't help that my partner was very sick the first 2 weeks we came home. It was very hard and then to realize my little one wasn't getting enough to eat from me and I just didn't have the milk to feed her well I felt defeaded. But since getting on Zoloft and now bottle feeding. Life has completely changed for me. I am sleeping a little more and she is happier. The decision to bottle feed wasn't easy and not without a lot of guilt and opinions from others. While I was sad I couldn't continue breastfeeding I felt absolutely freed from the chaines. So who cares what people think. You know what is right for you and if you can't speak the truth about the realities of motherhood, what the hell. Motherhood is not easy and your emotions go through serious swings.
Nicely done!
I vote honesty and love the blog! (And heck, anon couldn't even spell!) BTW, Finn is gorgeous and lovely!
and we're glad you tell it like it is!!!
Oh man! Someone wrote you that crap? Like we don't have enough to deal with in those initial weeks after giving birth! Good call on facing that comment head on!
omg i think i totally missed the "anonymous diss" must go back and read thru the archives. i cannot believe someone would have the nerve to come on your blog and criticize you! well i'll join your fight.
dear anonymous:
FUCK YOU. either own the words you write or stay the fuck off this blog.
how's that? :)
and just for the record, i think you are doing such an extraordinary job. being a mom is HARD. only parent would know this.
I am pleased that you are writing about the tough stuff. My biggest complaint about my pregnancy/birth experience was that nobody told me just how difficult those first 4 weeks were (or if they did I wasn't listening!)
I knew breastfeeding could be hard (though for my son and I it was a snap), I knew the hormonal change and lack of sleep would be difficult but I had no idea just how difficult.
Mums-to-be reading along with you will likely have a better idea than I did. And that's a very good thing. I wasn't sure I could make it until that second month rolled around.
Hey Guys,
You just need to realize that there are a lot of crazy people out there.
Seriously.
There are some real freaks lurking around and you have to stop giving them the time of day. Anyone who would make such a comment is obviously deranged, and possibly suffering from a mental illness...
It's a lot to adjust to and you need the support. You don't deserve to be bashed. Just ignore all that.
One of the hardest things for me after the birth of my baby last July was having to pretend how happy and gaga over the baby I was, when I was quite literally, in a state of shock. I knew that wasn't the "proper" response, and that knowledge sent me into a deeper spiral. I was sad, I was angry, I was frightened, and yes, I was resentful of the huge change in my life, although our son was very planned for and wanted. None of these feeling meant I loved my son any less.
Brava, Sacha, for acknowledging that the days immediately following the arrival of a child are not filled with nothing but sunshine and roses. Your truth will help set women free from the prison that can be the "baby blues."
Preach it, sister!
Dear "anonymous",
Suck my dick.
Love,
Mermaidgrrrl
I can't believe someone would bash you!!!! I felt all the same things you're feeling now. I remember being home the first night with my son and just crying and crying. My ex was upstairs asleep and I had no idea what to do. I had a c-section too, so I know the pain you speak of. I wanted to give my son back becuase I had nothing left in me. I was tired and scared and everything else. Man I remember that night clear as day and it was over 5 years ago. You write what you need to write. You have the support of everyone, screw the person who can't even leave their name. You are doing great. Tell it like it is, it's your story and your blog.
Your honesty and forthcoming, like many others have stated, is one of the main reasons why I read your blog. I have 3 children and felt everything that you had posted...i just wish i had had an outlet like a blog to express my feelings. Thank you for being so truthful and letting people know that it isn't a bed of roses. It does get better though :)
A long time lurker
Sus
BRAVO!!!
Thank you, and fuck you anonymous. :o)
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