We're Home!

Whew, made it home. You can't believe how much work it took. Finn has started cluster feeding so it took us a couple hours to settle him before the car ride home. Right now he's on the kitchen floor in his car seat and the kitties are checking him out.

I hurt all over and am on pain meds, so hopefully some of this will make sense. We'll post a full birth story in a couple weeks. In the meantime, here's the short-ish version...

Everyone knows that it was deeply important to M. and I to have an unmedicated birth. What we ended up with was exactly the opposite. I don't want to say that's okay without explaining that we're okay with the outcome not JUST because the outcome was a baby.

Ironically we ended up with the labor we wanted.

Intervention #1 Induction

As previously posted, my water broke. We pushed at the standard approach to EROM and were allowed to go 15 hours before we started the induction. When we returned to triage we were admitted immediately and started on misoprostol. We ended up with three doses of miso and in active labor.

Intervention #2 Epidural & Pitocin

I made it to 5 centimeters before we decided to go ahead and have an epidural & Pitocin. We made that decision based on two things: I had progressed nicely from 0 cm to 4 cm but it took 4 hours to go from 4 to 5 and I was having back labor. If I was sitting on the bed my contractions would be about 6 minutes apart. If I got up I would contract constantly. At one point I got off the toilet and literally couldn't move because I was contracting so hard. I was that way for 30 minutes.

I really could handle the contractions and know I could have delivered vaginally, but the back labor was wearing me out, I was getting afraid to stand up because it would bring them on and I was getting exhausted. Dr. G. called and said my progress wasn't looking good and she wanted to talk epidural and pit. She thought it would help me relax and dilate. I asked for 15 minutes, per my birth plan, discussed it with my support team, and decided to do it. It was a very hard decision, but there were almost no easy ones during our labor.

When I write the entire story, I'll talk more about the epidural. One thing I'm very happy about is that I never went on pit without the epidural. That was a very good decision.

Intervention #3 Vacuum Extraction

I dilated to 10 cm with the epidural and pitocin and we started pushing at 5:15 am. Once again, more details in a longer story, but I pushed a total of 4 hours and 15 minutes. Dr. G. discussed getting a OB consult for a vacuum extraction and we said okay. We had talked about vacuum extraction prior to labor and I'd decided ahead of time it was an acceptable intervention since it could prevent a c-section.

They pulled five times with the vacuum and Finn still didn't come out. He did make it to station 2 or 3.

Intervention #4 C-Section

I'm not particularly dumb and I knew when Dr. G. started talking vacuum extraction that it was the last stop before a c-section. When she said she wanted the OB consult for the vacuum, I added in "...and a c-section". She said "yes".

When they did that fifth pull with the vacuum and it popped off our little boy's head, I knew that was the end of my vaginal delivery. They started prepping me for the OR.

The anesthesiologist stopped by and told me I could only have one person in the room. I told him that I wanted M. and our doula, that M. needed support to get through what would happen next and there was no compromise on my demand. He did agree but I'd already decided that if he didn't, I would refuse to have the c-section and Finn could sit in my birth canal.

The c-section was hard. I didn't see anything until they took him to the warming table. I was shaking HARD, hands hitting the arm boards, as they cut through the layers of my abdomen and crying.

Finn Alexander came out at 10:53 and I can't describe the feeling of hearing him cry and knowing we made THAT. His apgars were 8 and 9.

Final Thoughts

In the end a c-section was medically necessary. Finn was sunny-side up and cocked toward my left hip. Because of EROM he couldn't be turned and my contractions were hard. A vaginal birth wasn't in the cards for our boy.

I love Finn's birth. It wasn't beautiful. Well, finally having him here was beautiful, but the labor wasn't. It was brutal. It was long. It pushed M. and myself to our limits. It wasn't a means to an end but an experience. I gave every single cell in my body and every single part of my soul to bring our baby boy into this world, and that's all I ever wanted to do.

And right now, thank GOD, he's sleeping and The Boob isn't need AGAIN. I'll be really happy when my milk comes in.

Blessing to all.