Queer Folk
I'm a supporter of using the term queer. M. is not. We had a discussion about it on the way home from the movies (Fun with Dick and Jane which was hilarious, btw) that started because of an Oprah show on the movie Crash where Don Cheadle (whom I lurve) and the Might O disagreed about the use of 'nigga' in the black community. M. falls in the O-camp which says that using the word within The Community empowers our enemies to continue using the word against us. I don't agree.Why do I like using the term queer?
Firstly, I hate the oft-used GLBT moniker. It's a mouthful and it doesn't cover everyone. There are so many facets of sexual orientation and gender identity out there, how could they all manage to start with either GLB or T? Queer covers everything.
The other reason is power.
There's the power behind normalizing the word and removing its impact.
There's also the power to remind straight people that they're not us. Being a middle income caucasian woman living in an urban, accepting environment, it's easy for my straight friends to forget that we're not the same. We never will be the same because there are so many things they don't even realize they take for granted that queer folk have to struggle for every single day. Queer emphasises our seperate, unique life experience in the same way 'nigga' reminds white people that it's different living in America as a black person. I'm allowed that word. They are not. It's MY word. So I use it.
I've said this before: I'm angry. I'm a pissed off dyke who is tired of having her relationship constantly devalued and negated by our straight dominated society. Being a minority is an ever-changing journey and this is where I am at the moment. Being a woman, I feel I need to explain and apologize for my anger. And THAT is an entirely different post.
Peace to all.
posted by Sacha @ 8:46 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
funny. you say, "peace to all" while you and your kind are disrupting a HUGE section of sociaty that would BE peaceful if YOU weren't so bent on having things YOUR way. Your gay. Great! Your different. Great. I am not allowed to use the word queer because YOUR different and YOUR gay. great. So why do you want/need everything we have? Isn't that what makes YOU different?
Be Gay! Hey, be black! But quit trying to force a PEACEFUL part of society to accept you... no, make that involve you when you take PRIDE in your being different. If you were truly peace seeking. You'd be gay, and you'd be different, and you would function as other humans do in a society that is full of ALL KINDS of diferences! You wouldn't have to CONSTANTLY point out your own!
Hmmm...in reference to the above quote; I suppose case in point. If you'd just shut up & sit quietly, then everything would be okay, right? Riiiight.
Um, what part of the "peaceful" society would we be trying to "force?" The part that consistently devalues our relationships? The part that negates our families? The part that sees violence & discrimination as the "right" way to silence us? My friend, you are seeing the world through very, very different eyes. Walk a day in my shoes & tell me how peaceful that society seems.
Sacha, I'm with you on Queer. Some people don't appreciate the "umbrella-ness" of the term, but for me it catches those who might not identify as any of the letters in the GLBT. I like how it turns a stigma into something somewhat more positive and yes, prideful. Go figure, I like being who I am & get a little bristly when someone challenges me on the right to be comfortable in my skin.
Brooke, I love your response. Enough said there.
I am also with y'all on the queer term. I have friends who are for use of the word, and against, and among those who are against it ther is a camp that doesn't want it normalized because that feels too much like mainstreaming (these are mostly academic-theorist types, go figure). It is the umbrella-ness that so appeals to me, as well. The inclusiveness that still manages to mark difference.
was that first post a joke? it made no sense!
When I am among the truly ignorant I call myself bisexual. Among the rest I call myself queer because my sexuality and gender identity don't seem to truly fit the GLBT spectrum so queer is the best fit I have.
As for anonymous, yes I'm different. And I DEMAND that society stop treating my difference as if I was "less than". I think this quote about feminism fits this issue.
"I don't want to be treated like a man. Women and men are different. I just don't want to be treated as if I were inferior to men."
Everyone is allowed their opinion. This blog is MINE. Anonymouse [sic] may have his or her opinion.
I want everything you have because I deserve it. Because that is equality.
I am incredibly UNdifferent in a million different ways. But that does not negate the reality that my paradigm is inherently different that of my straight counterpart. Because my straight counterpart will never have to fight to be connected to the person he/she loves. My straight counterpart will never have to pay extra money at every turn just to have his/her family insured or protected. My straight counterpart will never guard their language or feel fear walking into a new situation. They will never have their voice shake the first time they say "actually I'm married to a woman."
And that is why I'm allowed MY word.
Frequent caps, bad grammar, writing in circles- hateful commentary always seems to look the same. Though my straight friends would never in a million years share the sentiments in that awful comment, the comment itself does serve to underscore the difference that you were actually writing about- how impossible it is for a straight person to understand the oppression and experience of a queer person-"anonymous" can seem to understand neither the harm and violence done to queer people by a heterosexist and transphobic society nor the ways in which straight and queer people may be both different and the same.
I've used queer as an encompassing term since I joined the Stonewall Center Speakers Burueau a few years ago, where I began listening to the stories of so many different people during our speaking engagements. Still, in some situations when speaking with a straight person or mixed group, particularly a somewhat homophobic/transphobic person or group, I hesitate to use the word because I don't want them to think it is okay for them to use in company. And I don't think homophobic/transphobic people generally would understand why I was using it anyway. Hm, that's a chunk to think about! Thanks for discussing it.
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