Sperm Spatter
We have finally have official dyke TTC hijinks.I ended up taking the day off work (thx to VERY supportive co-workers) and we picked up my aunt and went down to see grandma. This meant day one of insems had to start in the AM. We picked up the sperm (2.5 cc), headed home, I became pantsless and the syringe was inserted.
Turn...turn...turn...take the syringe out...
OH. MY. GOD.
I don't know how it happened. I have a lot of experience using syringes from my job and I've never seen this. The sperm had somehow leaked behind the plunger and was stuck there, gelled. I yell for M., she runs in, we're both staring in horror. I start to pull out the plunger and the stuff glops down. Then M. tells me to pull the plunger all the way out so we can rescue as much as possible.
SPATTER!
I'm lying on the bed with sperm spattered on various areas and we have to leave to pick up my aunt in about fifteen minutes. We salvage what we can, shove it back into my vagina, I lie there for about three minutes then we have to go.
I've been smelling ejaculate all day. It doesn't smell bad, persay. I mean, I'm sure if DtD had my cervical mucus spattered all over him it would smell just as strange. It just doesn't smell like ME.
Round two tomorrow night. We're plying him with food and hot mormon boys doing yard work. He he. Okay, if we can't find mormon boys he'll have to make do with food and his imagination.
posted by Sacha @ 8:34 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
Yay! I love funny insem mishaps. Of course I like the romantic, beautiful one too, blah blah blah.
But we conceived with chaos and sperm mayhem (spattered all over the carpet, most of the sperm coming out, cats coming to sniff it, etc) so I have a soft spot for it.
Maybe it is good luck to have semen mishaps. We'll see in 12-14 days.
Good luck with your Grandma and insem #2. You are both in my thoughts.
Brutal. Well since we're into war stories... here's what happened at our last insem.
You'll recall from FF (or Megan will) that we had trouble with our timing and decided at the last minute to do one last insem. It was very rushed and we actually called from around the corner to ask our donor to produce. ha ha.
Well he couldn't find any of the little plastic cups with lids that we usually use - they had run out (we chuck 'em afterwards because of the gross factor). So what does he decide to do? He ejaculates into a plastic bag. The kind that you put your tomatoes in at the grocery store. Then he tied a knot in it.
By the time we got it home and took it out of M's armpit where it was keeping warm, the semen had worked its way all over the bag and into the knot. It was FROTHY and GROSS! It took me five full minutes of stroking the bag to get enough into a corner to suck into the syringe. And I got it all over my arm when I sucked it up. Ugh.
What a disaster. We got about one CC but it was frothy so I'm sure it was really less. I'm positive my cycle is a total write-off. I didn't even have the heart to post it to FF since so many people gave me such great advice!
I guess at least there's a story in here for all of us to tell our children when they ask where they came from! :-) Good luck with the next ones!
Oh, I do love reading about the lesbian reaction to sperm. Seriously. Makes me feel a little less like a freak!!
A serious question, Sacha & M.: I had heard/read/whatevered that it is not ideal for male fertility for a man to ejaculate two days in a row (whether it's donated or "the natural way") because the sperm has to re-build up or whatever. is that not true? (I would be glad if it wasn't!! Much easier to just do it in a row!!)
lo: every other day is good if your donor is in his late twenties or older. If he's younger than 25 and with good numbers you could do it every day. FWIW, my KD is 19 and we did it every day but next cycle we may switch to every other day to see if it helps.
My first at home experience I accidentally pushed the syringe and ended up with half on my leg that I scooped up with my fingers and shoved it in. Last month poor KD had to do his thing in a public bathroom with an instead cup and I had to insert the cup in the ladie's room. It was a casual family restuarant too!
oh my god, that is totally my nightmare!
well, I have another funny sperm story that I've been meaning to post for Wannabe mom. If I get time I'll post it on my site tomorrow.
To answer Lo's question, according to Taking Charge of Your Fertility, a fertility bible, you should do it every day unless he has a low sperm count. Now, we haven't yet had DtD have a s/a, so we don't know if he has a low sperm count or not, but we're operating under the assumption that he doesn't. If the man has a low sperm count, it should be every other day.
We tried to space out donations out a bit more this time, but still one day apart, so we did insem #1 and then did insem #2 31 hours later and then insem #3 26 hours after that, so that they were each more than 24 hours apart.
Last cycle, we couldn't do that since we got such a late start, so our two insems were only 20 hours apart.
The sample sizes were better this time, even the last one. I think part of this could be due to the fact that he's more comfortable this time too.
OMG I can totally relate I just had the same problem today when we inseminated the darn stuff got be behind the plunger thingy what fun. My poor partner is traumatized now the stuff got on her hand LOL
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