Queer Activism and The Created Family

When I was going through nursing school we had a cultural competency class. I was excited because I thought this would the the chance to go over the issues queers face when seeking medical care. As nurses, we need to know that queers ARE different than straight people, have different issues.

One of the biggest issues in a healthcare setting is the created family. Created family comes in many shapes and sizes. It's made of best friends, adopted children, non-bio parents and so on. It's family of choice, not family of biology. I wanted my class to address the fact that the right of the created family to be at the beside of a queer patient should be recognized.

Instead we learned that cupping isn't abuse and sometimes it's okay for families to make medical decisions, not the patient. Blah, blah, blah. Good stuff, but not MY issue.

(From M.) Medical professionals are always in a power position. Their ability to deny you care is part of the oppression dynamic. If you're part of an oppressed group, going to the doctor can be additionally stressful. You live with the fear that your healthcare providor will find a reason to refuse to treat you. For an example of the imbalance of power, look at the Tuskegee study and the effect it has had on the black community in the United States. (/M.)

Even subtle reactions by medical personel leave their mark. You approach new situations with a certain level of trepidation. In the end queers seek less medical care and that hurts our overall health as a community. And this is because of the way medical professionals interact with us and our families. How many times can a queer family face being questioned over who has the right to parent their child? How many times can a partner deal with being told he doesn't have the right to make medical decisions. How does it feel to live with the fear that you're going to be told at every turn that you don't have the RIGHT be with the person you love?

It makes you angry.

I've found that most people aren't mean spirited, they are simply ignorant. They have a context for parenting and family that they won't break away from unless we gently challenge them. I've had to do this over and over again when I call M. my wife and I will do it again, over and over, when I tell people that we are both the mother.

We confront the oppression dynamic by changing it through our daily interactions. That's activism.