Birthing Classes - Beware the Coyote-ess!
M. and I are almost through our birthing classes. A lot of ice cubes have given their lives to our preparation.
I don't know how I feel about the birth classes. We paid a lot of money to take a non-hospital birthing class and I think we were both expecting a lot out of it. It's been okay. The breathing and pain coping exercises have been useful.
Our teacher doing contraction reinactments that look a bit like orgasms weekly on the floor, has not been hugely helpful. Well, except for the snicker value to bring. Is it right to snicker one's way to birth?
Last night all the "ladies" (clearly M. is not one of the ladies) sat in a circle and she made up make moaning noises. I'm sorry. I have every confidence in my ability to make a HELL of a lot of noise in labor, but I'm not going to let loose in a room full of people who are still strangers without actually having a reason (like a real contraction).
I informed our instructor that I have every intention to scream, spit and cuss my way through labor and I pity the FOOL that gets in my way.
She called me a "coyote-ess".
Beware the Coyote-ess.
posted by Sacha @ 8:49 AM
6 comments
6 Comments:
Aahhhwooooo! That's too funny! :OD
I never like play-acting, anyway. I could sell Girl Scout cookies, but I couldn't do the role-playing the instructor wanted me to do to practice selling the cookies. I felt too ridiculous. Faking pain noises is even sillier.
We took a childbirth class before our first baby, and the thing that floored me was that all the stuff they told us was totally different than what the nurses in the hospital did. Like, in the classes they said the nurses would want me to walk around a lot during labor--but in the hospital, what the nurses wanted me to do was lie in bed. It was very surprising.
OMG. Are you doing Birthing From Within????"
When we sat in the circle on the floor and the teacher said we were going to have a Coyote Circle I was like "oh no."
When she told us to howl I thought I was going to kill someone. I played along but I was thinking "I can't f*cking belive I'm howling like a "birthwarrior" hippy!!"
I did get a lot out of the class and could enjoy doing the birthart in a funny, not serious way, but that Coyote Circle...never again.
And it didn't help with contractions either.
We're doing hypnobirthing and so far it's wonderful. We're also doing the hospital antenatal classes but felt they probably don't really help much for the actual labour, that's why we're doing the extra private ones. You can buy the book if you're interested... "Hypnobirthing - the Mongan method". It comes with a CD of affirmations and a birth rehearsal. I could e-mail you the MP3 of the relaxation exercise I have as well if you're keen :-)
I didn't like faking the contractions either. I felt stupid and laughed most of the time. In real labour, I didn't yell or make weird noises--just breathed. Breathing is good. I found *really* deep breaths during contractions helped. I visualized myself blowing up a balloon. I actually focused on the sprinkler on the ceiling and pretended I was blowing into that. LOL
We had to practice making the low tones... and I could barely do it from giggling. I was not giggling when having real contractions so I guess I didn't practice enough. But, uhm, the low moans were good.
Our instructor kept pointing to her crotch as if we might FORGET where the baby is coming from! LOL! I think they dredge these people up from some creepy place...
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