Surviving
Finn has been putting us to the test the last couple days. All of the sudden we have a screaming baby on our hands. This is hard enough in general but worse when you're not used to it. We have spent literally hours sitting on the ball and bouncing him until our bodies hurt.
We're surviving.
It's like we're back to the days right after we brought him home. Sleep deprived, bleary eyed, with pretty much no reserve left. Good times.
Having a child makes child abuse understandable. Not justifiable. Not acceptable. Just understandable. Having a new baby is an incredibly challenging experience. Mix in someone who has poor to no coping skills, who never had good modeling of parenting themselves, who can't manage their frustration and anger, who might be using drugs or alcohol...it's a dangerous combination.
Things will get better. They always do. They already are as M. is feeding our happy boy in the living room and we actually got some decent (decent in the context of having a baby) sleep.
posted by Sacha @ 6:49 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Is it a certain time of day your little one is crying? We had that with Sofia and it seems to be in the evenings is her witching hour. My little one is on soy formula because she wasn't getting enough to eat from breastfeeding. As of recently we have started adding a little cereal to her evening feeding and boy does that make a world of a difference. She smiles and coos and just carries on while eating her cereal. I water it down pretty good and give her a spoon tip of it and then binky which helps her suck it down. Just a suggestion. Also I have had to learn Sofia likes alone time, I know sounds weird, but in the evenings she needs about an hour of alone time with her toys. If you haven't got one yet try to find one of those play mats with the toys that hang over their head and a mirror our little one just adores that. She stares at herself for quite a while. Just a a suggestion of course. I can honestly say I know how you feel though. Best of luck. by the way we found all our baby toys at yard sales :) I am all about the bargain.
As a BTDT momma... When Connor started becoming unconsolable (my milk production tanked due to PCOS so we had to go the formula route.) What worked for us was the S's trick - swaddle, sway, shush. I've lost track of the amount of time that I've spent rocking back and forth while sounding like a leaking tire.
I second the floorgym idea. Best $40 I've ever spent.
Hope the boy is doing better - hang in there. You guys are doing great (even though it doesn't always feel that way...)
Just wanted to second the S's trick. The best money I spent was on Harvey Karp's DVD, The Happiest Baby on the Block. He demonstrates the technique and it works like a charm. I've tried it on other people's babies too and the crying turns off like a switch. You really must see the technique to learn it though. You might be able to rent the video from your library if you don't want to buy it. I've lent mine out 3 times now, to rave reviews each time! Best of luck. The crying is no fun.
Our daughter had colic. "Happiest Baby on the Block" was a life saver.
We had our weekly emergency physician visit/x-ray for our son today. We noticed a poster on shaken babies. Both my husband and I were saying that we were surprised MORE babies weren't shaken. It is SO stressful to have a new baby. It is hard to stay calm and together when you've had a little screaming baby in your face for hours on end.
This is why babies are so cute! It's for their own survival!
I need to clarify that M. and I have Happiest Baby on the Block and employ its techniques. Finn really is a mellow boy then for a couple days he changed and was crying all the time. The ball really worked and we swaddled and shush in general...life was just too much for our boy and he needed to get some stuff out.
He's better now. He was probably stressed from learning something new.
I think most babies hit a peak fussy period around six weeks. My son is almost eight months old and aside from near-constant feeding, he was a super easy newborn and only cried when he was hungry or wet....until he hit that six-week mark. We then had four of five days with lots of crying for no discernible reason. It freaked us out as we were worried we were in for colic. However, it passed and he came out of it with some new skills. In retrospect, I am convinced it was his first wonder week. Google "wonder week" if you haven't already and you will find some good information. I would *love* to get my hands on the book but it is out of print. :( Anyway, sounds like it might have passed already. Unfortunately, it is some of the first of many times our little ones will completely confound us. :)
We're riding along with you girls! I feel your pain!
Although i'm not dealing with a newborn, having a "new toddler" in the house also has challenges. I have had the same thought about child abuse and shaken babies. It DOES take all the coping skills I can muster sometimes to repeated say to myself "don't take your frustration out on her...she's a scared little baby who has had some huge life changes" and keep rocking her or bouncing her or whatever even though my neck is killing me etc.
I have come to realize that every day is different...and i suspect that lasts a long time with kids. What worked yesterday may not work today. Babies do go through growth and development spirts that wear them out or make them cranky.
Hang in there!! It sounds like it's all normal. And I know it's hard (and that's normal too). They say it gets better and i believe that's true. Meanwhile, I am trying to cherish every minute because they don't stay little and cuddly very long. I try to remember that when she's bright eyed wanting to play at 3 am or when she's screaming her head off because she doesn't want to take her nap (while the screaming is just more indication that she NEEDS one!)
I don't have any specific suggestions about your age of baby because i've never had one. You guys sound like you're doing great...and i applaud you for the courage (and the time!) to blog your feelings and put out the hard stuff...it just might help someone feel like they aren't so alone in all this (not to mention i'm sure it helps you).
Rebecca
It gets better. Better and better. I like your family photo!
I can also sing the praises of the Dr. Harvey Karp dvd "The Happiest baby on the block". We had the colic invade our home and I tell you what.. that was the best time I ever spent watching tv. Best of luck and I hope your stay in colic-ville is super short...
Post a Comment
<< Home