Baptism
We are going to have Finn baptized.
This has been both a difficult decision for me and an easy one.
Easy because I was baptized as an infant and that's the tradition I've wanted for my own children.
Hard because I don't feel connected into the church and haven't for a many years now. Sometimes I feel barely connected into Christianity at all. I have a very tenuous relationship with both religion and organized religion.
I am a cradle Episcopalian. There is a huge part of me that is Episcopalian down to my bones. At the same time, I am part of a church that does not only debate my right to be participate fully as a lesbian, it is a church that is on the verge of breaking up because of issues around homosexuality, and a church that is most likely going to sacrifice me and my right to participate in the name of unity.
It's hard to be in that place. It's hard to participate in an institution that does not value me as a whole person. It's hard to think about the message that sends to our son. I know what is right. It is right to fully embrace queers in the church. I don't know why my church absolutely will not fight for me.
So we're having Finn baptized. Part of me is excited because I want our beautiful boy to be blessed and held close. Part of me wants to run away and never look back.
posted by Sacha @ 9:52 PM
6 comments
6 Comments:
I hear you. I was raised Catholic and I left the Church when I left for college, but I had nearly 18 years of Catholic upbringing (my family was very active and devout) and it is very much a part of me. My grandparents haven't asked yet if we are baptizing the baby and the truth of the matter is that I would, in the Church I grew up in, IF they would accept Jen as a parent. Which they wouldn't. So it's out of the question.
We're Unitarians now, and they love the queers and all, but it's not the same as the pomp and circumstance and tradition of a Big Catholic Baptism. It's hard.
I hope someday the Episcopal Church surprises all of us.
I switched denominations because the church I was raised in considered homosexually a sin. I have found a new church (but I am from Canada - it's the United Church of Canada) that does not only amazing social justice work in my country, and has fantastic service programs around the world, but embraces all people and are willing to perform same sex marriages. I, like you, was very tied to some of the messages I was raised with as a child. On the other hand, I knew I wanted to have children and I could not bear the thought of them, or I, having to listen to a message that homesexuality was a sin and that those relationships were less worthy than others.
I understand what you mean about the change being hard though. When I think about getting my little boy baptized in the next 6 months, I am a little sad that it is not the same kind of ceremony as I grew up with. The United Church does not appoint God Parents for example. Still, I think the change was worth the sacrifice.
Have I mentioned recently how freaking adorable Finn is. That is one handsome little boy you have there!
hopefully you have a good E church that is still open and accepting and true. All of this bullshit that is going on with the E's is driving me nuts. Here I am in a new city and I have to read up and research every church before I visit to make sure it hasn't been taken over by the hating people sect. ugh.
If anything this is a ceremony that is between you, the Godparents and God.
xo
The reason you want Finn babtised is because although you think you aren't brain washed, you are.
The things that were taught to you as a child have stuck...you some how feel that Finn will have blessings and make his way to heaven if he IS blessed.
There is a distinct difference in religion and God. Religion is man made. It's something man has created....like laws of the land.
Do you agree with the laws that have been created ? That ostrisize large groups of people, both you and me ? Who do you blame/believe ?
It doesn't hurt a thing to babtise your son....so dunk away....but you need to let go of that which controls you.
barbara.
Interesting. I'm an Episcopalian, too, though not from birth, and I have pretty much the opposite feeling: I'm THRILLED that the "issue" is being discussed and I don't think for a moment that ECUSA will do what's been asked of them.
And, though I'm active in my parish, we won't have our kids baptized.
Two sides of the coin, we seem to be.
I could've written the same thing. We're having Riley baptized but I don't enjoy going to church. Angele was raised Catholic (unaccepting) and I was raised United (accepting). But I just don't enjoy going.... :/ And there is something about organized religion that bugs me only because so many use it to spew hatred. We are probably going to use the MCC church here to baptize Riley. It's really, really gay. At least we know there wouldn't be any discomfort. I mean, the minister is even gay.
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