Working (for a month) Mom

I've officially been back to work a little over a month.

Balancing work and parenting has made me realize that in the states the working mother gets the worst deal. I have never dreamed of being a stay at home mom. It's not in my personality. I like my job, although it's a very hard one. I am proud to work and model for our son.

None of this means I wouldn't rather be at home with Finn right now. The truth of the matter is that four months is entirely too early to leave your baby and go back to work. It actively contributes to women deciding to stop breast feeding. It's not ideal developmentally. I would much rather be able to be home for his first year. Or at least six months so we could get him started on table foods. But I have to work to support my family, so my choice becomes to leave my son too early or to sacrifice my career for parenting.

There should be something in the middle. No woman should have to make the choice between career and parenting. We CAN have it all but we need a culture and government that makes parenting a priority.

Grump. End of rant.

The strange thing about being back at work is that I was feeling SO burned out when I left. Being back, and not pregnant, has lit a fire under me. I am loving my job. It's taken two years but I feel like I'm really hitting my stride as an RN. I thought it had all clicked before, but now I'm really GETTING it. Every day, even the hard days, I feel like I'm kicking ass and taking names. I'm starting to feel kind of good at what I do. Imagine that...actual self confidence.

So I'm happy to be back at work. I'm sad to be away from Finn. I'm proud to be supporting my little family. It's not the worst thing in the world to be a working mom.