We're going to Disneyland!

The deal is done.

The three of us went to Lawyer Lisa together. BF signed his part later because he was working and couldn't make it. I spent most of the morning crabbing at my dearest wife (who quite promptly told me to 'fuck off' but much more politely than that). Then I managed NOT to crab at DtD (yes, my dear, dear boy, I can be a moody bitch). This was all because I'm am completely freaked out. With the contract complications, and the impending bills from our lawyers, I have been waking up yelling DtD's name in frustration and my anxiety levels are sky-high.

When DtD finally signed his part, Lawyer Lisa turned to me and said "are you feeling better now?" and I almost started crying. Jesus, I'm crying as I type this.

We went to brekkie after that and spent a couple hours chatting. It was really nice. It's always nice.

I have a hard time being vulnerable with anyone outside M. so I was being strong and not talking about The Elephant again. Now I wish I had taken a moment to tell DtD what this means to us. I've been feeling out of sorts all day when I should be elated and happy. As stoic as I thought I could be about this, there's part of me that needed to acknowledge the significance of what we're about to do. I just didn't want to cry.

We start Monday night. I think before he provides the sample we'd like to find a way to convey our gratitude. This means I have to be what I detest: a hormonal, about to ovulate, cheesy, vulnerable GIRL. I don't want some sort of ceremony. I just want to sit down, take his hand and tell him this is one of the most amazing things anyone has ever done for us. And I will cry because I do that.

Right now we get a few days of space. It's been a week of talking to DtD every day (yesterday, THREE times). As much as I love him, I need a break and I need to be just me and M. again.

And why are we going to Disneyland? Because at some point over pancakes and a tasty goat cheese scramble, DtD declared that M. can take care of the kids while he, BF and I go on the rides when we all go to Disneyland! M. has declared he's sweet and threatening all rolled up into one. I'm just happy to have someone to go on Thunder Mountain with.

Aren't we going to be one big happy gay family of choice?