The Difference of Marriage Part II: Playing Politics
Beth made an interesting point about getting married in the U.S. versus going to Canada to do the deed. She said it confuses the issue in the states, that U.S. same-sex couples with Canadian marriages make it appear to some that we have legal marriage in our country as well. This made me think.
Beth is right. Most straight people (and some queers) aren't politically aware of the issues around marriage so when we use the term "wife" or "husband" they some times make the next step of assuming our marriage was obtained in the U.S. If they are outside Mass, they would be mistaken. They also think that our Canadian marriages are already recognized by our government. Once again, mistaken.
I still think we should be getting married in Canada.
As a couple with a Canadian marriage, I can testify that for every person who makes mistaken assumptions, there is another who asks questions. I spend part of my life doing daily education and quiet activism for marriage just by BEING legally married. I want people to remember that they know this girl who is married in Canada, and if I've made a favorable enough impression, they'll have a hard time thinking that I should be denied my rights.
It's the politics of the personal.
posted by Sacha @ 10:35 AM
3 comments
3 Comments:
All politics is personal... and all is local :-)
I teach about same-sex marriage... and living here in Mass I have to say I find it shocking when students tell me on a multiple guess exam that 38 states currently allow same-sex marriage... (I am assuming they believe the map of the 50 states where ONE is highlighted doesn't include ALL of the US?!??!).
It's interesting to teach about Canada and the possible recognition. Mass has even struggled because on a license application one has to declare if they have been legally married before - Vt, Ca, etc do not count as those are not "marriage" - but Canada... well, that IS legal AND marriage just not recognized.
I hesitated to answer on the first post - because I feel awkward about having a legal, US, Mass marriage - the paper means more to me than it should... but honestly, it means MOSTLY that everyone should have a right to get that paper if they want to... it has changed how I view myself (in some odd ways), never changed how I view Beth (though we still giggle when we say SPOUSE)... etc etc
I think it's great that you are writing about this stuff. I made a big entry in my blog not long ago detailing all the legal stuff and costs Rose and I face and will continue to face. Really good friends, queer and straight, admitted they had no idea. As much as I get tired of educating, it's so important. We have to talk about our families' realities so that people (especially those who support us) can really understand the issues we face. For various legal, personal, and financial reasons getting legally married in Canada is just not an option for us, but it has truly been eye-opening to read the posts here and gain perspective of how it has been for some folks. You guys rock! xoxo
Straight or Gay... Marriage "is" the union of two people who love each-other. If your married in the US or Canada. Who cares, it's the two of you... not the whole world! I'm catholic, but it doesn't mean that I live and breath it. My DH and I wanted to get married simply on the beach here in Florida, nope. Catholic's "must" be married in the church per our family. Well i'm not a true believer of all the teaching's (obviously)! But for my DH's and my sanity, we gave in and had the church wedding... And well, after reading all this fluff i've written to you so far. I'm just simply trying to say. It's all about you two. What "you" want. Who "you" want to share it with. Your married, you found one-another,and you love each other! My god how lucky can we be in life. Well, except for the next step.. Adding the additional family member ;) Us too. Good luck in life!!! I don't have a blog so it's just me ;) Mollie
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