Q&A Redux Part I

I'm trying to get pics up for Beth but Flickr is NOT being my bitch this morning. I'll start with Lisa's questions...

What have you learned about you and M. during your ttc journey?

Too much! I don't think we've learned anything shockingly new about ourselves or each other, but it has emphasized some things that I knew were there before.

We've both learned that we need to accept our response to grief and let it be what it is.

I'm stubborn. M. is stubborn.

It's frustrating using a known donor, despite all its benefits. It's the one thing we can't tweak constantly.

I've learned that I am a lot more stressed out and tired than I ever thought. I've always lived with a certain amount of baseline anxiety that I thought was acceptable but I'm discovering that it's really not.

I've also learned why TTC tears even the most stable couple apart. It's damn hard.

Do you think that all woman should have to go through a few bfn cycles before they are able to receive their bfp's?

I wish everyone would get pregnant on their first try (hello, population boom). I wouldn’t wish this kind of hurt and frustration on anyone. That said, it’s hard when people just get pregnant because that was supposed to be us. We were supposed to get pregnant after one or two, or even three tries. There’s just no way to ever have known it would take this long or become this difficult. It is a daily fight not to become engulfed by the pain and bitterness. The day I start wishing a healthy dose of BFNs on people is the day I become a dark and soulless person.

I’ll also say that that experience of failing over and over, while painful, has been a growing one. No one in this situation, not myself, M. or DtD, would be the same or have the same relationship if we’d gotten pregnant like we were supposed to.

Have another question for us? Post it here.