Dr. Dog Lesbian
Yay, blogger is back up!
We went to see the new doc Tuesday. Her name is Katie but I'll call her Dr. Dog Lesbian. She looks like big ol' dyke and she has a dog.
I really, really wanted with all my heart and soul to like her. I wanted to walk out knowing that we could finish our pregnancy with her, deliver at BHOI (Big Hospital of Interventions) and have this nightmare over. It didn't work out that way.
Dr. Dog Lesbian was a total DOC. Very competent regarding my medical care with little concern for anything else, very black and white when medical care is very gray. The biggest problem...she wants to anticoagulate me for six to twelve weeks after the delivery. This requires going onto to anticoagulation meds and having to go in for blood draws daily or every other day. Not a big deal...IF YOU DON'T HAVE A NEWBORN AT HOME. The best part is that she's basing this decision not on MY history but on my FATHER'S.
The further away I got from the appointment, the worse I felt. The more I felt that my needs were drawfed by my medical issues. The more I just wanted to shove candy and anything else bad into my mouth, my favorite form of self abusive behavior. We spent yesterday, our fourteenth anniversary, in some sort of sorrow-filled fog.
So we took a walk. Nothing like a walk to clear one's head. Neither of us can take this anymore. We're tired of being hurt and angry. We're tired of crying.
We could stay at BHOI with Dr. Dog Lesbian, but I will probably refuse to be anticoagulated. This means I'll go through the stress of going up against my doctor and I'll have to expend the effort to research and defend my position. It means a fight. The thing we're losing by heading for The Baby Factory is the labor tub. And really good nurses.
What do we gain by leaving BHOI? A doctor who we really know, who has always been there for us, who wouldn't over manage us. If we HAVE to go to The Baby Factory, using a family practic doc has the best outcomes. We could relax and enjoy the rest of our pregnancy, not spend entire days crying. We could get rid of this gut level sadness that seems to have gripped us.
We've sacrificed the labor tub.
We have an appointment with Dr. G. on Friday and unless she can't manage our care, we'll move to The Baby Factory and finish the pregnancy with her. She's already told me she won't want to induce at 39 weeks. I don't think she'll want to anticoagulate me. I trust her. I know we're risking a more negative birth experience but I've decided I'll accept that based on needing some support right now.
posted by Sacha @ 5:54 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
Is there some other reason other than your father's medical history to do the anticoagulation?
Won't they be able to know further along if it's even necessary???
It sounds like this is rough for you guys. I hope of all hopes that you are still able to enjoy this pregnancy! This should be a wonderful time, but trust me, I know how easy it is to forget the excitement of it and just get overwhelmed with everything.
I am hoping this all works out for you guys!
I guess the most important thing - for us at least - is that we want the delivery to happen with a Doc we trust and feel comfortable with. It's surprising how difficult that seems to be.
I can't remember if you've said this before - will they let you bring a portable labor tub into the room with you? I've heard of people doing that if the hospital they delivered at had private L/D/R rooms which did not have tubs. You can rent the tubs.
Happy anniversary!!
So sorry about all of the doctor and hospital woes. You really shouldn't have to struggle to get the care you want. It's so crappy that you're dealing with this and I'm so sorry. I really hope it all works out for you so that you can have a positive experience.
So, did you have your ultrasound?
Sorry you have had a rough time with all of this. I guess people get so wrapped up in their busy schedules that they just don't feel it is necessary to actually take the patient's individual needs and desires in to consideration. It sucks.
In the end, though, I am positive you will have a wonderful birth experience, no matter where you go or by what methods it happens. It is the most blessed event, ever! The happiness you and M will share is beyond my ability to describe, and I'm so excited for you!
Anyway, happy anniversary, you two...enjoy each other!
could you rent a labor tub for the house and just labor as long as safely possible at home and then go to the hospital?
this sucks and I hope it all works out.
God Sacha, I am so, so sorry. This is so incredibly hugely stressful and you don't deserve to be dealing with it. You deserve so much better support from your care providers than you have been getting. Bleh! Does the Baby Factory (tm) have showers and/or any kind of tubs in the labor rooms? Birthing tubs are so much better, but as long as you have access to some kind of water you will probably do just fine - the shower can be really fantastic and I'm sure your doula will know how to utilize it to the fullest advantages. I'm just saying, the *best* birth I have ever been at, EVER was at one of the WORST hospitals where some doulas refuse to go - and it was a VBAC! But the care provider was incredibly supportive of what the mom wanted (family practice doc who *loves* birth), she requested a nurse who could/would support natural birth (and got one!) and had a completely beautiful, non-interventive birth - the doctor didn't even catch the baby, the mom did! And there was no tub in the room, we had to wheel her down the hall. It made me a big believer in how important a supportive care provider can be - they can pull some strings and get certain protocols shifted sometimes. Sorry so long. xoxo
Just started following your blog a few weeks ago and I love it!
I'm not typically a commenter, but I wanted to offer this one bit of unsolicited feedback:
We build plans and expectations around labor... but it can all change in an instant.... and it can STILL be amazing and STILL be exactly what you wanted.
I wanted a labor tub, also. And all my expecations of what it would do for me flew out the window when I was actually in labor... for a variety of reasons.
I'm not saying give up on the labor tub. But if you choose a hospital where the staff and your doctor and everything else is going to eliminate some of this emotional turmoil you're facing.. then that is most important. All of that support will come into play when you need it most, and it will work out.
Our doula made the biggest difference of all... labor tub, tennis balls, you name it, she was our champion. I'm sure she would have constructed a labor tub for me, right there on the spot, if there hadn't been one available.
No matter what you plan, your labor (and your little boy who's working through it also!) will hold surprises. And it will be a good experience with your partner by your side. I hope you find a good resolution that lets you enjoy the next few months!!
SO SO sorry you have to keep dealing with this! I totally support your decision. I aslo appraciate all of your insight and the perspective you have been sharing with me. I hope that our new decision does not disappoint you too much.
It is really frustrating to feel like you don't have access to what you want during one of the most intense times of your life. A tub, especially a jetted one, is wonderful during labor. I had one last time, but I wasn't in it the whole time and I found many other pain controlling techniques to be equally as valuable. I know several women who thought they were going to be all about the tub and then hated it. There is just no way to know before-hand what you are going to want to do during labor. I've know women with elaborate plans who ended up only wanting to lay on their side and cling to the bed rail! I also wanted to say that during my first labor there was no tub...all I got was a shower down the hall with a plastic chair to sit on...not very grand at all (but at least the hosptial's hot water supply never ran out)! Even that was great. Any kind of hot water on your body during labor is going to feel divine. Labor is impossible to predict. There is no saying that even if you ended up in the perfect birthing facility the birth would "go" the way you wanted/planned. Just try to do the best with what you have and let all the stress about the rest take a back burner for a while. Tub or no tub, in the end you'll get the same prize: your amazing son.
--Emily
Support is better than a labor tub. Who knows? You might hate the tub...I was surprised to find out I did while in labor. Then you'd hate the tub, AND the doctor, AND the hospital...and wouldn't that suck? Might as well skip the tub and like the Dr and hospital. :)
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