Your Right to Refuse Care

As an RN I've explained to many, many patients that it's in their best interest to do what I'm asking them to do because of their safety. I've told them to stay in bed, take their meds, agree to procedures because our job is to keep them safe and agreeing with ME will do that.

Now I'm on the other side.

I'm starting to wonder if the pregnant women population might be the most compliant population in the medical world. It comes from the fact that pregnant women aren't sick. They are healthy patients who seek medical management for a non-medical condition. On top of this, they are having a BABY, creating a life, care taking for something that become increasingly important to keep safe. They are easy to bully.

Where the BHOI providers miscalculated is that I actually know my risks around most pregnancy complications and I don't scare that easily. I'm not going to be bullied, I'm going to be an equal participant.

When I started to question my care or to even downright refuse care, instead of being told my risks, alternatives and being respected, I became The Difficult Patient. I became "medically unstable". I was told "well, you always have the RIGHT to refuse care" but the conversation stopped there and went onto imposing FEAR, FEAR, FEAR onto my pregnany, reminding me of the worst possible outcome of my refusal.

Because in the world of obstectrics, I don't actually exist. My experience doesn't really count. It's all about our boy and his safety, which is not the wrong focus but not the right focus either.

EVERYONE HAS THE RIGHT TO REFUSE CARE.

Take it further. Refusing care doesn't mean you no longer deserve care. It doesn't mean you are subjected to bullying by your practitioner about your decision. If a practioner responds to you discussing refusing care by offering the worst case scenario in order to scare you back into their way of thinking, find a different practitioner. Refusing care means you get to have the reasonable risks of your decision explained, and a plan of care should you follow through on your decision worked out.

We always learn, even from the darkest times, I've learned a lot from my experience. It's making me a better nurse.