Potty Learning

Somehow potty learning snuck up on us.

We started putting Finn on the potty at 11 months with visions of him being out of diapers by the age of two. Then our baby became a squirrely toddler with so much more to do then sit around on the pot. So potty learning went to the back burner.

Then we went diaper free. Like, last week. And somehow our kid decided to use the potty. On his own.

Huh?

We went with it. First for a few hours. Now he's diaper-free all day except for naps. And he pees and poops on the potty. As long as he isn't too tired or in too much pain or too distracted or too busy playing. He trots his cute little buns into the bathroom, sits down, pees, then puts his pee in the toilet.

I usually ignore him while he's doing this. No one claps for me, or praised me, or gives me stars or stickers or M&Ms when I pee, and I don't have a potty chart. So neither does Finn. But I'm secretly bursting with potty JOY and every once in a while I give him a spontaneous MY-BOY-WENT-TO-THE-POTTY hug.

Now I have visions of potties dancing in my head. I had resigned myself to Finn being out of diapers maybe by four. Maybe not. Maybe sooner. So we're looking for a portable potty seat and he's wearing his big boy underwear on outings, and we're bringing changes of clothes, and my baby is so BIG.

Potty learning, here we come.

The Return of DtD

DtD will be back in August.

Yikes.

We were sad when he left, devastated when he stayed longer than we'd expected.  Part of me feels like we've been sitting on hold, waiting for our family to finally be intact.

Everything has a good side to it and the good thing about the last two years is that we've gotten much closer to BF.  Finn LOVES Uncle BF.  I just can't imagine that coming about under any other circumstances.  

And the bad side.  Waiting.  Getting older.  M. feeling like her fertility is slipping away.  

In a couple months he'll be back and we'll start where we should have two years ago, and Finn will finally have a relationship with his donor.  It's funny because I would have never questioned how he would fit in if he'd never left.  Now I wonder where his place will be with M. and myself and Finn and Uncle BF.  I'm sure it will be okay, but part of me worries that DtD will be on the outside.  

He probably will, but I'm also sure we can make up for lost time.

This means we get to jump on the TTC wagon in the near future.  M. has said she doesn't want to share our journey as publicly this time.  It will be her body and I totally support her in doing what she needs to do to survive.  

And that is if we decide to TTC for #2.  Money is tight.  Our house is small.  I have no time for mat leave saved up.  We can't live on my salary.  We would have to have some serious conversations about what it would mean to have an only child, and for Finn to be an only child.

So, yikes double yikes.  Luckily toddlers are distracting creatures.

laughing at bubbles

laughing at bubbles, originally uploaded by Sacha Digi.

aw, I love his smile...

Slow Parenting

M. and I are officially on the Slow Parenting track.   

We spend our days at home.  We don't do any classes.  We don't have structured learning opportunities.  Basically we feel that Finn will start reciting his ABCs, counting, writing numbers, socializing etc...when he is ready, not when we are.  He'll have enough time in his life to be learning in a structured environment and not enough time to just be.

So we be.  

We have breakfast.  We read books.  We draw.  We go for walks.  We make messes, we clean them up.  He explores his world and I am amazed at how much he knows without any kind of structured teaching.  Because kids are brought into this world to learn and nothing we do will stop them.   No classes.  No play groups.  No preschool in the fall.  Just Finn and mommy and mama and the world around him.  

Sometimes it's hard being on the slow parenting track.  It feels like everyone is busy telling you about their kid's accomplishments.  We don't have many measurable accomplishments to brag about at play groups.  No counting, no ABC's.  All of that stuff will come with time and I just don't have the heart to drill Finn until he recites them so I can show him off.

Brag brag brag.  It's insufferable.  

Every once in a while I want to tell people that Finner was too quiet, then I went into the kitchen, found him whipping up a souffle and we'll be sending him to the CIA in the fall.  Their youngest student EVER.  But I don't.

After all, when I set my ego aside and think about it, really, really think about it, this is what I conclude.  

1.  I am my kids mother and I think he's the most brilliant human being on earth.  He doesn't say his ABCs or count or speak another language.  He still knows EVERYTHING.  

2.  What is most important to me?  That my kid is smart?   Not really.  That my kid is empathetic and caring, that he sees the world beyond himself, that he grows up to give back.  And that I as his parent always help him to be his best, to work to his highest potential.   

Yeah.  Totally.