Decision Making

I have to start by giving a shout out to Charlotte at Dos Mamas. She’s the one who persistently told us about Aurora Medical Services. Both M. and I owe her a huge thank you.

Charlotte is also why I’m writing this post. She’s got me thinking about decision making.

Poor Charlotte. The big DONOR DECISION is becoming too long and drawn out. I think I read in one of our many lesbian conception books that the decision to be a donor should be a thoughtful one, but it also shouldn’t be too difficult. My heart goes out to Charlotte as she and S. are stuck in limbo land.

M. and I have very different decision making processes. I believe in fate and hold onto the illusion that the right decision will present itself. M. believes that decisions are well thought out processes that involve a lot of research. I think we compliment each other well. I keep her from thinking through things too much; she keeps me from thinking through things too little.

The decision to use a KD was probably one of the biggest we’ve ever made. We’re both still settling into it even though it’s been a done deal for over six months now. It’s a daily struggle, especially since we have to live with so much being unknown. None of us have any idea how having DtD in our lives in this aspect is going to play out. This includes our future child. It’s like we started on the tightrope but had no idea how to take a step. Now we’re learning to balance and take steps because we can’t just stand on the rope paralyzed. We still don’t know if we’re going to fall or not.

For DtD, the decision to say ‘yes’ took just a few days. Actually, he said yes immediately but needed to check with his BF before committing. I don’t’ know why it was so easy for him and maybe someday we’ll be able to talk about it. We don’t have the world’s most ‘chat about our feelings’ relationship.

Maybe decisions are really an attempt to see our way more clearly. If you’re having a hard time seeing how things will work out, it’s time to pull back and get some perspective. I’ve found that often it’s hard to see your way because there’s a better path somewhere out there.